Exquisite Turmoil

OMG sometimes I really hate grouping in EQ2. And by grouping, I mean PUGing (pickup grouping, as in with people I don’t know). So today I get a CoV (Crypt of Valdoon) group on my fury (68 at the time, 69 now — no thanks to those tards). It’s me, a 70 guardian, 70 coercer (not a tard), 70 monk, 66 necro, 64 conjurer. The guardian, monk and necro are all in the same guild. Apparently it is a guild of retards. The conjurer is in a different guild, but really much too low to be running CoV since the mobs are 70+ and it’s like.. impossible to hit them at 64. As it turns out, the coercer and I are the only ones who have been in the zone before, so we figure hey — it’ll be a good idea to tell people what we know about the zone to make things go more smoothly / quickly.

To start, when you get to the first named it’s like 700x easier to pet pull him, because then you don’t have to kill all of the adds standing between you and him. It took six tries. Count them. SIX. Because the guardian didn’t really want to pet pull, so he figured he’d just stand there and stare at the wall in protest. Finally the coercer tagged the named as it came in and kept it mezzed until retard decided he actually wanted to participate in the group.

As you go down the next hall, skeletons pop out of the floor. Therefore, it is imperative that the entire group:

1. Stay behind the tank.
2. Stay against one side of the hall so you don’t pop skeletons from the other side.
3. Assist the tank when every idiot in your guild goes to the other side of the hall to spawn adds.

I told the idiots no less than four times that crossing to the other side of the hall would spawn adds. Yet they all still managed to do it. And the idiot monk wouldn’t assist the tank because “he was attacking the same mob anyway”. Which explains all of the mezz breaks, I’m sure. Finally I told him that I wasn’t going to heal him again, and that I would be keeping my heals off cooldown so that I could heal the coercer when idiotmonk broke mezz. Again. And again. He still broke mezzes, but that’s why idiots have feign death.

After many trials and tribulations with shitty pulls and mezz breaking, we make it to the second name. That goes off fairly well and we evac back to the IZ, and head back to clear to the last named. Once again idiot guild is informed by both myself and the coercer that they must HUG THE RIGHT WALL or more skeletons will spawn. I bet no one will ever guess that we ended up clearing both sides of the hall anyway, because idiot guild couldn’t manage to stay on the right wall. Mind you, this isn’t a hard task. It’s a nice wide hallway. All you have to do is.. stand still.. then run in a straight line forward.

Next we come to a room with three mobs in it. I give idiot tank directions to go in the door and hug left on the doorframe, which will cause the mob (monster, bad guy, whatever) marked as 1 to come out by himself. Of course, idiot hugs the right wall and pulls mob #2 first, which, of course also means that mob #1 comes with it. Whatever, anyway, life continues and we get into the final named room. We go through the crappy little script without a hitch (although here the tank insists that the necro pet pull for some reason that was completely beyond both myself and the coercer). Anyway, we get down to fight the last named. Group is warned about all of the adds that will spawn. Coercer and I inform everyone that once the named dies, we’ll pop the chest, loot fast, and then evac out to avoid fighting all the adds. So — named dies, we pop the chest and it’s the class wrists for necro/conj. It’s the only thing that dropped. This should, of course, make things nice and simple. The necro and conj in the group roll, everyone else declines and we evac out happy. But no, someone (and I don’t know who, but I’m guessing the necro) took so long to decline or do whatever that the timer on the chest ran out (that being a minute) before it finally got looted. And all the while the adds are spawning, coercer is frantically trying to mezz, and the guardian and monk are frantically trying to break all of the mezzes. I’m very happy to say that the conjuror (who wasn’t an idiot and wasn’t in idiot guild) won the lotto on the class wrists and we evacced out. At this point, the necro and guardian start bitching and whining about how they didn’t even get a chance to roll on the loot! First off, idiot guardian, you can’t wear it. It is NECRO or CONJURER only. Secondly, idiot necro. You put out less DPS than EVERYONE ELSE IN GROUP EVEN THE 64 CONJ WHO WAS TOO LOW LEVEL TO HIT THE MOBS. So I really don’t care if your stupid ass was too stupid to hit “lotto”. You clearly weren’t so busy DPSing that you didn’t have a chance to click lotto. I would imagine you were so busy being AFK during the final named fight that you weren’t able to roll.

To top it all off, idiot guild then starts going off on the coercer and myself, like it is somehow our fault that idiot necro didn’t win the wrists. Needless to say, I do not see myself ever grouping with someone from “Lost Souls of the Decayed” ever again. And here’s to Prophit, the non-idiotic coercer. My hat is off to you (not that I am wearing one) and I hope to group again!