Exquisite Turmoil

Well, as anyone who knows me knows — I have an addictive personality. Or at least really close to it. Once I catch onto an idea, I am completely obsessed by it until boredom finally ensues. I’ve been pretty obsessed by weight loss / exercise / nutrition for quite some time now, probably as long as I’ve ever been obsessed with anything (Everquest / Everquest 2 aside). In the past year to year and a half or so, I’ve gone from 170lbs to 130lbs. For background information here (and reference for my future self looking back) I currently wear a size four jean. Obviously, being the obsessed person that I am, I am not satisfied yet.

Hence my present obsession. Bowflexes! It’s gotten so bad that I’ve even been trying to find (without success) a Bowflex infomercial online, so that I can download and watch it whenever I want. That doesn’t really make any sense, by the way. I’m like.. the one person in the world with a burning desire to watch an infomercial and it isn’t available! You would think they would have infomercial downloads pasted all over the net. Much cheaper than paying to put them on TV, I would imagine. While I haven’t managed to find an infomercial, I have stumbled across a lovely video set on YouTube by Sean McFall, who is just starting his own Bowflex training regime. He’s currently on his second video (of 52, one a week for a year) and the third is due out today, or tomorrow. Being the obsessed person I am, I keep checking every five minutes or so to see if he has updated yet. I’ve had this website for quite a while, actually, and just never put anything on it. The final drive to get off my butt and actually make use of all of the money I’ve spent on this thing came from watching Sean’s video. I figured, hey, I can totally blog about how I’m obsessed with Bowflexes if Sean can make videos about how obsessed he is! Not that I really think Sean is obsessed with Bowflexes, but no one likes to be alone in this world.

On to the topic I’ve been trying to introduce for the last two paragraphs! Given my obsession with Bowflexes, it is only natural that I would be attempting to purchase one. After reviewing the official website, I was sadly forced to admit that I could not afford to get one of my own. I was not to be defeated so easily, however! My clever mind led me to ebay! Maybe not so clever, since no one wants to ship these things. Craigslist! Yes, Craigslist was what I needed! After several interesting distractions, I was able to find many Bowflexes for sale in my area, and at reasonable prices. The most reasonable of which being $225 for a Bowflex XTL in supposedly mint condition. E-mails were exchanged, plans were made to drive the hour to Surprise in the gas-guzzling Ford Excursion to view and purchase my beautiful Bowflex.

Dan and I got to the current home of my lovely Bowflex right around five pm, the planned meeting time. No one was home, of course. We waited until five-fifteen and, of course, no one arrived. I was notably irritated at this time, but we decided to go and have a bite to eat and check back at the house afterwards, since we’d already driven such a long way. We checked back at the house at six and the lights were on, the four or so dogs were barking (who were not barking at the previous visit, might I mention) when I rang the doorbell seven hundred times, a human shadow came to the door.. and no one answered. Needless to say, I will be checking the obituaries for Surprise periodically to see if a woman named Kimberly was crushed under her Bowflex, crapped on by her dogs, and dead by the time her husband got home from work. How tragic.

Link of the day: Sean McFall