September 28th, 2008 by Missy

Dan has been working on modifying the rat cage for a while now, which basically means cutting PVC coated chicken wire to size and ziptying it to the existing structure. The living room is, surprise, currently covered in little bits of chicken wire and the tails of zipties. Dan and I are chatting about it and he says “God, it’s a fucking mess over there.”

Anya pipes in with “That’s a bad word and you can’t say that!”
Dan said “I’m a big person and I can say words like that if I want to.”
Anya: “Not at work you can’t.”
Dan: “Well, I could if I want to.”
Anya: “I’m sure your boss wouldn’t like that.”
Dan: “He wouldn’t really care.”
Anya: “Well anyway, you can’t say words like that in front of little children like me.”

She had me cracking up.. just the way she was talking to Dan like he was some little moron who was too dense to understand what she was saying to him. She sounded so adult while she was berating him.. like a teacher would sound talking to a kid swearing at school.

September 22nd, 2008 by Missy

The kids went to the doctor on Friday for vaccinations.  They’ve actually had quite a few shots over the course of this year, but this is the first time that Dan was able to go with us (as we scheduled the appointment for after school, whereas previously Anya was only going to half-day school and we made appointments for while Dan was at work).

Getting shots is always a big undertaking.. the kids sob and scream, then we go get ice cream and usually pick out a toy.  Apparently, however, Alex decided that Daddy being along meant he had to be brave.  Firstly, he declares that he is getting his shots first today (normally he and Anya fight and try to make the other go first).

Then, he asks the nurse how many shots he needs to get, and she says two.  So he replies with…

“Two?  Hah, I laugh when I get two shots.”  So she gives him the first shot, and we hear “Waaaaah-ha.. ha.. ha.. hah.”  I wish I had a recording of it.  He so obviously wanted to wail but he forced out the most fake laugh I’ve ever heard.  It was adorable.

September 6th, 2008 by Missy

So, Thursday Dan and I are sitting down at our computers, Alex is in the kitchen eating a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich.  Next thing we know he walks around the corner looking like this, and we both just started busting up laughing.  I love when you know someone so well that you just KNOW what they’re thinking, and we were both thinking “WTF Joker”.

Anyway, now for the promised Alex quote.  We’re outside and I’m working out on the Bowflex, Dan is treadclimbing away.  The kids are playing in the nearby sandbox, having a tea party on the concrete, picking flowers, running around like nuts, etc.  Anya comes up to have a chat with me while I’m working out and screams and says that a bug ran across my butt.  I didn’t feel or see anything, but I took a glance around, didn’t see anything.. and got back to working out.

The next thing I know, I look down and an ENORMOUS spider is ON MY LEG.  And when I say enormous, I’m not just being a girl, it was seriously enormous, even Dan admits it.  He estimates 4″ across, perhaps a little bigger.  A fuzzy, hairy, disgusting thing.  So I scream at the top of my lungs and jump up… the spider falls on the ground, Anya is trying to scale me to get away from it..

Alex just kind of stands there looking at it and Dan stomps on it to shut Anya and I up.  The two of us are practically hyperventilating while the boys are just standing there.  I asked Alex, “You weren’t scared of that spider?”

He gave me this look like I was a complete moron and said “No, I’m a man.”

June 23rd, 2008 by Missy

I finally have an Alex quote to impart! This day shall go down in history, or something..

In a moment of drunken idiocy (always the best kind) Katie jumped off of her friend’s roof and into her friend’s pool and slammed her heel straight into the bottom.

Anyway, the next day my grandmother took her to urgent care to get some x-rays and find out if it was broken. When they came home Katie was on crutches and in a walking cast type of thing. Alex sees her, gasps and says “Aunt Katie! What did Grandma Joan do to you?!”

March 18th, 2008 by Missy

… Alex will bust out with something really funny and I’ll be able to post it here. Until such time, I will continue to regale my captivated (nonexistent) readers with Anya quotes.

Anya and Alex were sent to their room to clean. Dan pops in to check on their progress and sees that they are just about done.

“Good job! You’re done with the hard part, now it’s just the easy part — putting away your movies.”

“That’s not the easy part. It’s all the hard part. The easy part is sleepin’.”

March 3rd, 2008 by Missy

So we’re playing loaded questions (it’s a game where one person asks a question from a card and everyone else writes their answer down — then the asking party has to guess who wrote which answer). Anya decided that she wanted to play (just saying her answers out loud, of course). My mom reads the question “What’s the most annoying thing that a driver can do when you are a passenger in their car?” Anya’s answer?

“Slam into another car.” I found that pretty clever, actually. It would be quite annoying.

Another Anya one here. Just happened about five minutes ago actually. She’s laying down on the couch and pulls her big girl pants down and pulls her butt cheeks apart and says “Hey mommy, why does this open?”

Like, omg x.x

October 28th, 2007 by Missy

I’m wondering if I will have to start a new category for Dan quotes! He had a good one last night, in any case.

I can’t quite remember why, but I called my mom a brat for something or other, and Dan pipes up with “You can’t call your mom a brat!” And you could just see that she looked so happy that Dan jumped in on her side (not that we were fighting mind you, it was all in good fun), and then Dan finishes out his sentence… “She’s too old to be a brat. I guess you could call her a hag.” And, of course, everyone at the table (my mom excepted) just starts dying laughing like… oh my god, did he really just say that? In any case, it was goooood.

I’ve also another Anya quote to impart — it’s an oldie but goodie that I had just forgotten about, but it was called to my attention yesterday so I figured I’d share it before I forgot.

Anya was sitting around drawing pictures of people, and she says to my dad “I’m going to draw you Grandpa!” He’s all pleased and thanks her and she says “Yeah, and I’ll even give you hair!” (For those who didn’t already know, or somehow weren’t smart enough to figure it out, my dad is bald — or very close to it :p)

The birthday party (including Dan’s hag comment :p) was quite fun last night, and the blind wine tasting was also a good time. The reason the tasting came about is — my aunt’s friend owns a vineyard in California and supplies grapes to some pretty well known wine makers. He has recently started making his own wines, and he provided my aunt with a bottle of one of his wines, and two comparable bottles of some of the wineries he supplies grapes to.

The three wines were (not that we knew until after the tasting) a Simi Cabernet (they were all cabs) 2003, a Silver Oaks 2001, and her friend’s wine, which is called “Paden’s Patch Red”. The Paden’s Patch Red actually took the overall win, although my father preferred the Silver Oaks. I’m not really a big wine drinker myself — I do enjoy the occasional glass with a nice dinner, but I rarely like something enough to have more than a glass. The Paden’s Patch was absolutely delicious, however, and I had (I think) 4 glasses? Totally out of the norm for me. Anyway, I’m mostly relating this in a shameless plug for my aunt’s friend’s vineyard. You can’t buy his wines in stores as yet, but they can be ordered off of his website, and anyone who likes a good wine should take a visit and order something up. His prices are extremely reasonable given the wines that his are comparable to, it’s only that he isn’t so well known yet. So, basically, get it now before he gets licensed to sell in stores!

Link of the day: Quaking Hills Vineyard

October 21st, 2007 by Missy

I’ve decided that it’ll be easier to put my new kid quotes in new posts, rather than adding them to the Kid Quotes page (which I might just do away with), since the page will just end up being a novel at some point. So, from now on, they’ll be set as regular posts and put into the “Kid Quotes” category, so anyone looking for them can just take a peek at that category and find them all.

Anywho, the newest Anya quote. We were sitting down over on Pumpkin’s side and Anya scratched her face (with her nails, of course) and pulled off a scab. She started to bleed and Dan licked his thumb and went to clean it off. She got very angry and told him she didn’t want his spit on her face. He told her that saliva is good for cuts because it is slightly acidic and melts the skin together to stop the bleeding, which is why animals lick themselves when they get cut.

“Well, that’s why I don’t want spit on me. I’m just not an animal.”