My kids are very funny (as most kids are), and they always say the cutest things that I just have to pass on to everyone else. Anya, in particular, comes up with the funniest things to say. I’ve often thought about how I should be writing these things down so that I remember them in the future, but never got around to it. There’s no time like the present, they say, so it’s time for me to start keeping track! I’m sure I’ve already forgotten a million adorable or hilarious things, but I shall do my best to recall and record.

Unfortunately Alex doesn’t seem to say as many memorable things as Anya. He’s a bit of a copy cat, to be honest, so I find it harder to pull up quotes of his. He also isn’t the “class clown” that she is, being a bit more serious and timid in nature. This means, of course, that his section will be much, much smaller than Anya’s.

Alex

• Walking through the grocery store, Alex began to shriek and whine. When I asked him what was wrong, he shakily pointed at a fruit cart and wailed “I’m scared of that orange!”

Anya

• At one memorable trip to the zoo, we sat down to have a bite to eat. Anya and Alex were eating ice cream and Dan and I were eating pizza and chips. We were sitting underneath a little pavilion by the lake, in the middle of which was an island with monkeys on it. While Anya and Alex were feeding the ducks (our pizza and chips!) the monkeys started to scream out of the blue. When Anya tells the story she goes through the whole shebang about eating and feeding the ducks and the monkeys “SCARING HER OUT OF CRAP!”
• At another trip to the zoo (this time in Minnesota, with my in-laws) we, once again, stopped for a bite to eat. Anya had been in a rather cranky mood for almost the entire zoo trip. While we were eating, she took of her shoes and put them into the stroller. As we finished eating, she must have forgotten that she had taken off her shoes and asked angrily “Where the hell are my shoes?” I expected my in-laws to be aghast, actually, but they seemed to find it very funny.
• Anya has a favourite dress which she calls her “coconut dress” (rather than polka dot). It was a present from my Aunt Deborah, is a size two (she wears a four), is white with multi-colored polka dots, and we can’t get it away from her. It looks more like a shirt at this point than a dress, but anyway. At one point in time she was wearing it just about every day, and must have taken it off in my parents’ bedroom. She went over looking for her dress and my mother (who was watching TV with my father) told her that it was in the bedroom. They next thing they know, out walks Anya with her polka dot dress, extremely angry. “I was lookin’ for this!” she says. “You guys are thieves, I’m going home!” and out she stormed.
• Following the theme of thieves — Katie (my younger sister) had a basket of clean, unfolded laundry in her room. Anya was in there with her and spotted a shirt of hers in the basket. Pulling it out, she shook it at Katie saying “Aunt Katie! This is my shirt! You can’t keep taking my things Aunt Katie!”
• And here, following the theme of Aunt Katie having things lying all over her room. My mother and I were walking down the hall with Anya, when she peeked into Aunt Katie’s room. Seeing the mess in there she stomped her little foot and exclaimed “Aunt Katie! Look at this mess! Pick this up right now. Do not ever, ever make a mess like this again. Okay?”
• Keeping right on track with the themes here, we’ll continue on with Anya being pissed off. Her funniest quotes (as in, all of them..) seem to come about when she is angry. I was very tired one night and Dan and Anya came to tuck me into bed. Anya demanded of Dan, as they were tucking me in “Get me some chocolate milk.” I know, she’s so polite. “That isn’t how we ask, Anya.” Dan told her. So she responded in the sweetest tone ever “Daddy could I please have some chocolate milk? And maybe.. a cookie?” So, of course, Dan told her yes. “Good.” She replied. “Get it now, you jackass.” Yes, Anya has a potty mouth.
• On St. Patty’s Day we went to Fountain Hills for the celebration that was going on there (at noon they had the fountain shoot green) and they had a little petting zoo, some moon bounces / blowup slides / food / etc. Anya was jumping around in the moon bounce when a bunch of older kids went in (like twelve and older, and if you ask me they were too big to be in there) and started roughhousing and horsing around. They knocked Anya over a few times and she came to the edge and told my mother (who she calls Pumpkin) “Pumpkin, these kids are pissing me off!”
• And the last one I can think of for now. When visiting my sister (Jamie) and her husband, Sergio, Anya seemingly asked Aunt Jamie why Uncle Sergio had…. “boob mustaches”.

For more Kid Quotes, please see the Kid Quotes category!